I'm back. Eversince i gave birth till now, I've not been updating my blog:( Hmm. Afterall been busying & was doing own stuff, celebrating zayne full month, spending time w my fatty, shopping, taking care of zayne, lately zayne admitted to hospital due to his cough & flu. Brrr. Was so heart pain seeing him falling sick, have to see him taking bitter medication which he doesn't like at all. Hopefully my lil zayne will recover soon. 6 days and it's my 19th birthday. Gonna celebrate with my fatty & zayne. This two important person. Okay, i was so awake and my fatty is not here with me. It's his 1st day of wrk. Lol, and I'm missing him. Not used to it without hIm at home with me. Im a lonely girl. Lately things are just not right i guess? Had a small quarrel with fatty earlier on. Which i doesn't like it. I Don't want our r/s turn bad to worst or neither drifted apart. Can't afford to lose this r/s and lose all the love that'd shower me. Yes, you've been thinking and thinking about all sorts of question and answer. You've been wondering if i still love you ya? Or even you'd think that, I've changed to another person, no longer the old me right? Hmm. I can honestly tell you. I've never changed, and i still care for you. Im still possesive over you. Lastly my love for you is still the same like the past. It's NOT even faded. I've been keeping lots of things behind my smile. I dk how to explained it or neither bring it up. I always tends to keep it inside my heart end up I'm feeling confused over all those thoughts i asked myself for answer instead of asking people for the answer. I doesn't know how to open up. I don't like sharing my problem and i hardly trust people it's becus im afraid of getting hurt or neither I'll be taken for grunted. I just simply cant give anyone my trust unless action is proven. I always tends to be harsh, and do things without making decision. Always chase you back home, hurt ur feeling it's not becus i doesn't love you. It's becus I'm angry at that part of point. I knew im always in the wrong didn't even understand ur feeling, always being so unreasonable. Get angry easily. I knew if you really agree to leave, I'll definitely regret becus that's not what i want. That's not my decision at all. Hmm. im so fortune to have u as my husband, like what you'd said. To have a good endurance husband like you. Being so patient with everything esp when it comes to quarrel. Holding back ur anger whenever i tends to beat you, punch you. I really counted to be vry lucky. If its other guy, i doubt they've already left me earlier. Fatty, i promise to change bit by bit. I'll try veryx2 hard. Remember i love you with my whole heart.
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